The B*tch is Back!

*Read this post as if Elton John is singing that song in the background.  Loud and Proud!

It's been a while since I've posted and the last few have been pretty weak.  Clearly all I've done consistently is eat. I noticed it in a picture from New Year's Eve too! eek!  Oh and drink wine, forgot about that.

Professionally, my life is going well.  I'm enjoying my new job and love the people I work with.  It's a very low stress, low drama environment.  We had a fun, fun Christmas party!  I'm not even dreading going back to work tomorrow after a holiday weekend!

Romantically my life is well, complete shit.  The boyfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together so many times in the last few months that I've lost count.  After duking it out over text messages and facebook, we both realized it's just not working.  I just can't quit though.  Basically, I told him to take some time and get his life in order and then maybe we could try again.  I told him take a year if he needed to.  I also said I couldn't make any promises though.  I'm not going to spend that year pining for him.  I'm going to go and live my life and hopefully we end up coming back together.  If not then we really aren't meant to work.

I'm glad it's a new year.  I need to start fresh.  I need a new attitude and I'm working on it.  I've been asked out a couple of times since Thanksgiving and I've said no.  I know I need to heal and grow on my own.  I need to decide what I really want in life and what I deserve.  No more accepting less than I deserve.  No more excuses for others' poor behavior.  No more excuses for my poor decisions.  Bring on 2012 because I'm back y'all! 

Instead of the resolution going out though, it's the man! Adios!

Buffalo Chicken Ring

The other night I decided to get off my behind and actually cook something.  I made this Buffalo Chicken Ring and it was soooo good!  My parents, brother, sister-in-law, and picky nephew all liked it.

Buffalo Chicken Ring

Ingredients

8 oz cream cheese
1/2 packet ranch powder mix
Diced celery to taste
Buffalo wing sauce to taste
Diced/shredded chicken, cooked (2-3 chicken breasts worth, or 1-2 cans of canned chicken)
2 packages crescent rolls
Ranch dressing for dipping (optional)

Preparation

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. On a cooking sheet, spread the unrolled crescent rolls out leaving a small circle in the middle. Mix chicken and buffalo sauce to taste and add in celery. In separate bowl, mix cream cheese and 1/2 ranch packet together. Microwaving cream cheese for about 30 seconds makes mixing easier. Mix all ingredients together.

Place spoonfuls of mixture on crescent rolls and fold rolls over to form a ring shape and cook for about 15 minutes or until crescent rolls are nicely browned. Serve with ranch dressing and extra hot sauce for dipping.

I got the recipe from jayesel.com.

This picture is from the original page.

I left the celery out of course and didn't think it needed ranch for dipping at all.  It was awesome by itself.  Here's what mine looked like. 

Not bad for the first time!

Tex-Mex Chowder

Since the weather here in Central Texas has finally gotten below 80 degrees, I figured it was soup time!  I made one of my very favorites.  As with most of my recipes, this one has very little nutritional value and is not at all low-fat or low-cal.  Let me introduce you to some cheesy goodness.

Tex-Mex Chowder

serves 6 

1 lb ground beef 

1 large onion, diced

1 (15 1/4 ounce) can corn, undrained

1 (16 ounce) can pinto beans or black beans, undrained

1 (10 ounce) can Ro-Tel tomatoes, undrained 

1 lb Velveeta cheese

1 cup milk

Brown ground beef with onion; drain fat well.
In a large pot combine ground beef, corn, beans, and Ro-tel tomatoes.
Cube cheese and add to soup pot; stir over low heat until melted and blended.
Add milk as needed to get desired consistency.  

*I used Ranch Style Beans instead of pinto or black and dehydrated onions instead of a whole onion.  Enjoy!

My Tex-Mex Chowder

Best of Fall

It's that time again. Yep, fall in Texas.  We've had a cool front and the past week the high has only been in the 90s verses the 108 degree weather we've had half of the summer.  It'll be back in the 100s tomorrow.  It has been brutally HOT here!  Anyone with a television is aware of the wildfires in the past few weeks.

Dove hunting season also started a couple of weeks ago. Today our family is having one of our big dove cookouts.  They're frying dove, making chicken-fried venison, and my favorite, "white wings".  White wings are dove breast stuffed with jalapeno and cheese and wrapped in bacon.  Yummy!  My mother also makes THE best chicken fried steak, venison, or chicken fried anything for that matter.  It's going to be a big group.  Of course we can't have fall without football, so the dove fry is scheduled around the Cowboys game.  Food, family, and football!  What could be better!  I'm also excited that my boyfriend will be here for this one :)

Happy Fall Y'all!

Texas is a sad looking place this year.

Please donate to help Texas Wildfire Victims!

San Antonio

This piece is done by artist, Glenda Saucedo.

Last week was awesome! My sweet guy and I took his son and my nephew to San Antonio for a football camp.  The boys hit it off so well!  The day before camp started, we went to the Riverwalk and the Alamo.  My nephew hadn't been to the Alamo before so it was fun for me to get to tell him about the history of the Texas Revolution.  We had lunch at the Hardrock Cafe for my boyfriend's son's birthday.  Both boys are 11 and are so funny together.  Although I will say I wasn't thrilled with the gratuitous gas they were emitting.  Our hotel room took on a funky odor when they came back from camp the first day.  The second day of camp I walked around El Mercado and enjoyed lunch at the historic Mi Tierra restaurant.  Then I met my sweet guy and his two girls to watch the end of camp.  The boys had a blast and learned a lot at camp!  I needed to get away and spend some time with him and the kiddos and it was perfect.  We ate at a cool place called Willie's Icehouse known for burgers and various fried food.  My crawfish was amazing.  Even having dinner at Cici's Pizza was fun. LOL!  I've been to San Antonio many times and I recommend it to anyone wanting to enjoy some great culture and a fun time.

Things I've Learned While Unemployed

1. I am a lazy slob.  Even when I have the time I put cleaning my house at the absolute bottom of my list.
2. They made new Looney Tunes episodes around 2002.  If I’m still awake at 5:00 AM, I like to watch them on Cartoon Network.
3. I cannot stick to a sleep schedule when I don’t have a routine.
4. I’m better at feeding cows than I thought, but man my back hurts!  Lugging around 50lbs feed sacks when I haven’t exercised in forever sucks!
5. Apparently Medicare will pay for disposable catheters.  Thank you Hallmark Channel for those lovely advertisements. TMI.
6. Hallmark Channel sensors even more than regular networks require.  Reruns of Frasier are bleeped out regularly.
7. Actors who haven’t quite hit the bottom rung and gone on to star in a Lifetime Movie of the Week, take a slower dive to nothingness by starring in Hallmark movies about losing the family farm.  I’m talking to you, Jennie Garth and Shannon Daugherty. 
8. Mob Wives is some scary stuff!  I only watched one episode, but totally believe they have no problem whacking someone.
9. I can live on chips, cheese dip, and Sunny D for an extended period of time.
10. I don’t require much money when I don’t go anywhere or do anything or eat real food.
11. I will do a lot of different chores for strangers who will pay me, but I draw the line at working with/for certain family members, no matter how much they’re willing to pay.  It’s just not worth the hard feelings and bickering.
12. Even though I’m sitting at home alone, bored out of my mind, the rest of the world keeps on going.  No one is waiting with me, although they are hoping and praying for me.
13. Not finding a job after an extended period of time makes one feel like a major LOSER.
14. I HATE that Samsung commercial for the cell phone where it shows a picture of a spider and the woman screams her damn head off.  I will never buy a Samsung phone simply because that commercial pisses me off so much.
15. Buying Solitaire for my Blackberry was one of the best investments I ever made.
16. No one is getting rich from Google Ads on their blog.  In almost 2 months I've made $0.15.

I'm in a Great Relationship, so Can I Stop Freaking Out Now?

I ran across this great post on The Frisky by Dater X.  It summed up how I feel in my relationship so well! The only major difference is that there is no Thai food in my small down.  There's no delivery period, so I always make a stop at the store for a pint of ice cream.  Enjoy! 

Last Thursday, I prepared myself for what I thought would be a big milestone in my relationship with The Young One. His older sister—who serves double duty as his best friend—was visiting and I was going to meet her for the first time over dinner. That morning, I rummaged through my closet, trying to find the perfect ensemble to project a cool-yet-wholesome image. Over lunch, I brainstormed restaurants with my co-workers, hoping to find a place that felt special and laid-back at the same time—a true reflection of me. All afternoon I felt on a high that I was about to meet my first member of The Young One’s family—the one he was closest to, no less. Visions of his sister and I becoming besties danced in my head.

But as late afternoon rolled around, I hadn’t heard from The Young One. He remembers dinner tonight, right? I thought before spiraling into another thought. What if he’s changed his mind about introducing me to his sister?

I sent him a text message asking him what time he wanted to meet. For a half hour, it was easy to justify the fact that The Young One hadn’t responded to my text. Maybe they’re on the subway? I thought. Or at a museum where they have to turn off their cell phones?

But soon, time began to warp. Every minute I didn’t hear from The Young One seemed to stretch on far too long. A strange sensation took hold of my stomach and tingled more and more as each moment passed. Here it comes. He’s blowing me off, I thought. I can’t believe he doesn’t want me to meet his sister! Why did he even suggest it if he wasn’t ready?

I watched my co-workers shut down their computers and leave. It was 7 p.m. and I still hadn’t heard from The Young One. I was in full-scale panic mode. Luckily, my friend logged on to IM and I pinged her. “You had dinner plans and you still haven’t heard from him?” she said as I explained the situation. “Oh man, that isn’t a good sign.”

Just then, my phone buzzed with a text. It was The Young One. “So sorry,” it read. “Dinner isn’t going to work out tonight.”

It was as if he’d just confirmed my worst fears—he wasn’t ready to introduce me to a member of his family. I related the text to my friend on IM. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “But he didn’t give any kind of explanation? That’s not good.”

I knew his sister was only in town for another day and a half. “If he lets her leave without meeting me—that’s it. We’re done!” I said to my friend. “I don’t want to be with anyone who has any kind of reservations about me.”

I went home, ordered Thai food, and cried.

Later that night, I got an important lesson: it’s not always about you.

At 11 p.m., The Young One called. He explained this his sister’s boyfriend of three years had broken up with her over the phone that morning and said he was moving out of the apartment they shared. The Young One apologized profusely about not communicating with me about what was going on earlier in the day. He said he’d been so focused on his sister that he wasn’t paying attention to his phone. It had slipped his mind that we had made plans. It wasn’t at all that he was having doubts about introducing me to his big sister—it was that she was having flash crying attacks and didn’t feel up to meeting me.

I felt relieved. And also totally ridiculous. Sadly, this isn’t the first freak out of this magnitude that I’ve had during my six-month relationship with The Young One. There was the time, maybe a month and half in, when I didn’t hear from him for 36 hours. “I’m obviously never going to hear from him again,” I panicked to my friend. Yeah, I did. Then there was the time maybe two months later when again, he went AWOL for a day and a half after we’d had a fight. “It’s over,” I braced myself. Yeah, it wasn’t. Not even slightly.

Somehow, when I was single, I imagined that being in a relationship was going to be all daffodils and teacup piglets. I forgot how difficult it can be to get on—and stay on—the same page with another person, who has different ideas on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich let alone how communication in a relationship should work, through the twists and turns of everyday life. Being in a new relationship, I’ve been shocked to learn something about myself: I’m not so great at trusting that I’m loved. When I’m with The Young One, I’m fine. But when we’re apart, minor things can send me spiraling. Sometimes I feel like one of those people on an airplane who ducks and covers, preparing for a crash landing when there’s only a slight touch of turbulence.

I’m finding it strange that so much of the drama in my relationship happens solely in my head. Now, I know I wasn’t always like this. My last relationship was with someone who didn’t show me half the affection or intensity of feelings that The Young One does and I didn’t constantly worry that we were hitting the skids. Something about being single for so long changed my ability to relax in a relationship. When I was single, I established this pattern with men: Go out with guy. We like each other. We begin intense fling with grand declarations of feelings. Then one day, seemingly out of the blue, he disappears. Having several guys over time pull fade outs—well, to use psychospeak, I think it’s given me some abandonment issues.

A few months back, Beth described this phenomenon as Post-Traumatic Dating Disorder. I think she is onto something and could make a million if she wrote a self-help book on how to conquer it. Several of my friends who are also in new relationships are experiencing the exact same thing. Something about dating and seeing how hot can turn so quickly into cold makes it very hard to believe that someone’s feelings for you won’t just … change.

Now, the dating adage goes: you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. So some of you who have not experienced this might be reading and thinking, “Wow, she has low self-esteem.” But I don’t think that is what this is about. I love myself and truth be told, think I’m pretty awesome and know that I am a 10 on all levels. But here’s the problem—I’ve had a pattern of experiences where another person didn’t see that. I’ve seen in action that just because you are amazing doesn’t necessarily mean that another person will be able to recognize that. Or that you are the specific brand of amazing that they are looking for.

When you are dating, you generally don’t know exactly how someone feels about you. And so you begin to take the minutiae of their behavior as signals. He texted twice today? Ding, ding, ding! He likes you. He called to make plans for the weekend? Woo hoo hoo! You are in.` You haven’t heard from him in a few days? Uh-oh. He made a date for Monday instead of Saturday? Sorry, he’s just not that into you. Wait, you had to call him? You’re barking up the wrong tree.

The difference here is that I know that The Young One loves me—he says it all the time and shows me it in so many way. But somehow, I’m still using checklists to assure me that it’s true. I’m looking for the things I’ve been told are “signs” that he is serious about me—introductions to friends, being taken to a work event, being called his “girlfriend,” meeting the family—rather than listening and hearing him say that, yes, he is. All it comes down to is that everyone has different ideas about how/when to incorporate a new significant other into their life.

Naturally, I told my therapist about my big sister-dinner-meltdown of last week. She said something really interesting: “This is not about whether the relationship works out or not—you can’t know that yet. This is about you learning how to be in a healthy relationship.” Truly, this is something I need some practice in. So I’ve brainstormed some ways that I can ease myself through freak outs, if I ever have one again. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Focus on what was said rather than on how long ago it was said and who started the conversation. I need to stop counting hours between communication and taking the time elapsed as something meaningful. Instead, I’m going to remember the content. Did he remember something that was going on in my life? Tell me something that was going on in his? Did he say he loved me? Yeah, trust that. Also, I realize that while dating, I stopped feeling comfortable initiating communication with guys. Instead, I waited to see how long it would take them to contact me—again, to judge how they were feeling. And that is ridiculous. If I want to talk to The Young One, I can place the call, write the text, or send the email myself.
• Keep a relationship diary. I have never been one to keep a journal, but a friend suggested to me that every night, in a notebook, I write down a highlight of the day involving The Young One—just a sentence or two about a fun thing we did together, a nice email he sent, or a sweet thing he said/did. And she’s right. Having that on paper has been so helpful anytime I’m feeling insecure because I can look back and see that, duh, I am loved here.
• Watch the spiraling. If there is a dip in communication, it may well be a sign that something is up. But I need to stop jumping from “problem” to “it’s over.” As my therapist noted, part of a new relationship is building a track record as a couple of being able to work through issues. Problems do not mean the end of the world—they’re a chance to test how good we are at communicating and how well we’ll work long term because, let’s face it, life can be full of road bumps.
• Just enjoy it. Enough said, right?

The biggest thing for me to remember is that you can’t really brace for a crash landing. Is there a chance that me and The Young One won’t work out? Of course there is. If that happens, it’s going to hurt no matter what. I won’t necessarily be able to see it coming. I can’t insulate myself from it. I can’t pre-empt it by deciding “we’re done” without talking to him when I’m upset about something. The bottom line is that love is a risk and with relationships, there are no guarantees. But being able to look that fear in the face and still leap—well, that’s what makes love so sublime.

So, talk to me. Have you ever experienced anything like this? If so, what gets you through it?

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately. Have you guys missed me? If you ever want to email me, hit me up at imdaterx@gmail.com. And I promise to check in once a month or so from here on out. Really.

Some Things Never Change

Let me share a memory with you...

My family was sitting at the kitchen table in our usual spots- me, my younger brother, and my parents.  My mother cooked a typical week night meal. We had already said the blessing and I was trying to tell my parents about my day.  My brother informed me that I was bothering him.  Basically he didn't like my tone and said I was grouchy or something, so I tried changing my tone. Then he told me to stop "singing" to him, like I was being overly cheerful.  He then proceeded to imitate me and say everything in a sing-song way.  I told him to quit, but it continued.  I told him to quit again!  He then tells me that I'm being a baby and need to grow up.  Being the emotional person that I am, I started crying.  At that point he told me to go somewhere else and cry.  We started arguing about the fact that he wasn't going to tell me what to do.  Then he got ticked off, pushed his plate away, and left the table.  This whole time my parents were just staring at us like we HAD to belong to some other family. 

Sounds like a typical adolescent argument, right?  Take a wild guess as to how long ago this happened.  Yep, it was last week.  Some things never change!

Penicillin is Magic

Penicillin, oh how I love thee!  After two days of taking these magic beans, I am now able to eat again.  Thank you, Jesus!  It's kind of scary because I want to eat everything in sight!  Every kind of food I can think of sounds like heaven.  I still can't eat things like chips and salsa.  Even super mild salsa burns like there's no tomorrow, but at least I can eat somethings.  Basically, my mouth has completely new skin that is still pretty fragile.  Ice cream feels amazing though, so life is pretty good right. 

I haven't really done a thing this week.  I'm still waiting on my new laptop to come in, so I can apply for the work from home jobs.  I'm waiting on a claim with my short term disability insurance and I'm waiting on Saturday to get here so I can spend time with the boyfriend :)  In other words, I'm waiting, not so patiently, as usual.

I'm Hungry!

Remember how I mentioned last week that I was going to a music festival and I was going to live it up like a wild woman?  Yeah well, turns out that I should just quit making any sort of plans altogether because they are going to fall through!  I didn't get to go because I was running a fever of 104.2! 

Turns out I have such a bad case of strep that it has taken over my entire mouth, tongue, and even lips, not to mention my throat.  I was unaware that strep could cause blisters on a person's lips, but apparently I'm living proof.  My doctor said he was surprised I could eat or drink at all as inflamed as it is.  Of course I replied that I'm really not eating.  It freaking hurts too bad to eat!  When I put food in my mouth it feels like I'm on fire!  I've had lots of Sprite, but not much else for the last 5 days.  My stomach is now in permanent growl mode. 

My almost sister has witnessed what happens after I don't eat for just 8 hours.  We had a huge argument and didn't really speak for a couple of weeks because I had a major, stomping temper tantrum in the middle of Las Vegas from hunger.  So just imagine what I'm like after 5 days!  It is not pretty, people, not pretty at all.  I'm a nice person most of the time.  I'm polite and generally agreeable, but when I'm hungry I turn into the Wicked Witch of Central Texas. 

I have discovered though that after the wicked phase, I become simply pathetic.  I'm weepy and pouty.  I can't sleep and I don't even feel like watching TV which are 2 of my favorite hobbies!  HELP!!!  If anyone knows something I can eat that won't feel like I just gargled a gallon of jalapeno juice, please please send it to me!

Everything burns!

Just Kidding

Seems all that excitement last week was for nothing.  We found an apartment and I accepted a job, but it's not happening.  We are not moving in together.  There were several factors involved, but basically he isn't ready yet.  I'm okay with that.  I am extremely disappointed, but we're still together and that is much more important than when we take the next step.  I had my crying, sobbing fit.  The next day we talked though and we both love each other, so the rest will come together.  I have faith.  I'm having a hard time dealing with the disappointment though.  I understand all the reasons in my rational brain, but the rest of me, the not so rational part, is so hurt.  I'm feeling very alone right now.  We had started making decisions as a team and within a few days we are back to making decisions as individuals.  I was getting used to the idea that I'd get to wake up to his face everyday.  I actually read a book about step parenting.  I went through my cooking repertoire to figure out meals he would like and how to make them lower in carbs because he is diabetic.  I started planning exactly where everything would go in our tiny apartment so the kids would have as much space as possible and we could all be comfortable.  I had already decorated the walls and arranged the furniture in my mind.  Yes, I realize this all sounds somewhat obsessive, but I was just so excited and well, my mind moves quickly.  I'm working on remembering to just be happy in the moment and enjoy when we are together.  I'm trying to keep the disappointment at bay.  I'm trying not to start so many sentences with I!  No doubt, that gets annoying. 

I do have a plan though.  I ordered a laptop today so I can start looking for work from home jobs.  Come June 3, I have to turn in this beautiful Mac because it is property of my school district.  So, my new laptop will be here in a week.  Then I can go to my grandmother's and start really applying for the jobs.  I live in the middle of nowhere and can only get satellite internet.  My grandmother has broadband.  Most of the jobs have technology requirements and broadband or DSL is a biggie.  During the application process, they check your connection speed and the sound and video quality of your computer.  Hence, why I have to wait to start applying.  About going to my grandmother's, anyone who knows me, knows that my grandmother and I have a somewhat awkward relationship.  I love her dearly, but she might be one of the most oblivious people in the world.  She just doesn't understand modern things.  I have a clear picture of her coming in and asking me if I want some lunch, a drink, a snack, the blinds open, the blinds closed, the fan on, the fan off, or something else totally random, while I'm in the middle of some major call.  Bless her heart.  You may also be wondering how I bought a laptop when I have no income.  Ha!  Welcome to Texas.  I will be selling two cows.  I get two cows a year from my parents.  This year it's going to a laptop.  Incidentally, I sold two cows to pay for my divorce two years ago and my debt last year.  Please go ahead and laugh because everyone else already is.  Anyway, back to the plan.  Hopefully I'll get a job that pays enough, so I can still move to the big city.  I'll just be moving on my own, but that's okay.  It'll be good for me.  We'll be like Carrie and Big for the first few years.  Kidding, I'm so kidding!

 

These are our cows.  Don't worry, I'm not selling the little ones.

I Wonder

 I wonder too much.

I wonder about everything.

I wonder what you did today.

I wonder what my dog is thinking.

I wonder what the weather is going to be like.

I wonder if something life altering will happen soon.

I wonder if you have dreams like I do.

I wonder if I will die old.

I wonder if I have met my second half or if I ever will.

I wonder how I will look in my 60s.

I wonder if true love is possible.

I wonder if you think your bed is more comfortable than mine.

I wonder if I’ll get to travel to far away places.

I wonder what you really think of my family.

I wonder if I will learn to take risks.

I wonder if you will take them with me.

I wonder why things end so slowly.

I wonder if my parents are disappointed in me.

I wonder if I will ever have a family.

I wonder if I am annoying.

I wonder why I care.

I wonder if you do, too.

I wonder if it’s possible to be addicted to ice cream.

I wonder how old the tree is at my grandparents’ house.

I wonder how bad getting a tattoo really hurts.

I wonder why I’m such a picky eater.

I wonder what it would be like to forget any painful event.

I wonder

I wonder

I wonder

what it’s like

not to wonder so much.

-No author found. Adapted by me.

Things that make me HAPPY

I had a really rough last couple of weeks, so I thought I'd focus on the positive.  Here are a few things that make me happy, some large, some small.

1. Blistex Raspberry Lemonade Chapstick- I have scoured through many stores looking for this stuff. Last time I found it, I bought 3 boxes.

2. Nothing like cheese in a can... Yummm!

 3. Chocolate! I found this picture online, but it has several of my favorites in it.

4. I live on my mac!

5. I bought my first new vehicle this summer.  It was the first time I was able to work the deal myself and everything.  It was a proud moment.  I own a silver 2010 4-door Z71 4x4 Chevrolet Silverado.

6. My bed.

7. My sweet Pepper- She is a 12 year old black lab.  I got her when I was 19.

8. My family and friends- I love ALL of them forever and always, no matter what.

My Kind of Salad

Technically I'm supposed to be doing research for a major paper I have due, but the database for the school library is down, so I'm sorta SOL right now.  I decided to make myself a little snack and share it with the rest of y'all.  Now as a rule, I'm just not a fan of vegetables.  I only like a select few and they have to be cooked a certain way.  I've been known to gag if I find one piece of lettuce in my taco.  I hate warm lettuce!  I do NOT eat tomatoes in their raw form at all.  I take vitamins and drink whole fruit smoothie drinks to get my nutrients because it's damn sure not coming from those Jack in the Box tacos at 2 a.m.!  

This afternoon I made my favorite salad.  It doesn't have any of those silly ingredients most salads do.  Here's the recipe for my Frito Salad.

2 small cans of summer sweet corn

2 cups of shredded colby jack cheese

1/2 cup of mayo

1/2 cup of sour cream

1 tablespoon of finely chopped onion ( I used dried onion because I'm not a huge fan of onion texture)

1 full-size bag of Chili-Cheese Fritos

Stir everything together except the Fritos.  Add them and stir as you are ready to serve.

And that my friends is how you make a completely unhealthy salad!

It's Fall Y'all

*This entry should be read in your best Texas accent.  Do not pronounce any -ing endings.  Words with a long i sound like right are more like riiight.  Y'all really should be readin' as if you could talk like Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats or Reece Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama.  

If you haven't ever experienced fall in Texas then you might have a hard time understanding how I grew up.  Now I'm not talking about the weather.  We barely even have a weather change for most of what we refer to as fall.  It's still hot as hell here and I've gotten quite a few sunburns on Thanksgiving.  What I'm talking about is culture.

Two very important things start in the fall, football season and hunting season.  That means everyone in my small town does a couple of things.  They go renew their hunting licenses down at Wal-Mart and they go get a new t-shirt in school colors to wear to the games on Friday night.  The newest thing for the ladies is to have our team logo in sequins on their t-shirt!  Yep, small town Texas, people and I love it!

Let me tell you about hunting season first.  Mainly guys and a few girls age five to 75 will sit around any field or small body of water in the evenings.  Around here we call those tanks, but most of the world would refer to them as ponds.  They sit in lawn chairs and lots of them have a cooler of beer, but my family has a no drinking and shooting policy thank goodness!  Everybody waits for the dove to fly over the tank and then BAM, BAM, BAMBAM, the shooting commences!  There could be seven or eight people shooting at the same time.  Sometimes the whole group will only come back with six birds.  Other times they bring back 75.  They clean them and then package them to freeze.  At the end of the season we have a big dove fry and cook the dove several different ways and everyone who hunted brings their family.  My family eats what we hunt.  We do not hunt simply to kill.  On any given weekend there might be three generations sitting at the tank hunting birds- my dad, my brother, and my niece and nephew.

 Pat Green "West Texas Holiday"  Scroll down the page and click on this song.  Pat Green does an awesome job at bringing a little humor to the whole frenzy that is dove season in Texas.

Now onto football.  Football in Texas, and well most of the South for that matter, is a HUGE deal!  Thursday night is 7th,8th, 9th, and junior varisty games.  Friday night is varsity.  Saturday is youth football and of course college games.  Sunday and Monday and whatever other day is Pro football.  We start our kids off in youth football at age six.  At ten years old they practice three days a week.  I'm talking about full-on tackle, not flag football either.  When I went into the hair salon the other day, one of the moms was talking to me about what it would have taken last week for my nephew's team to win.  He's ten.  She was Monday morning quarterbacking the peewee team.  Now that may seem overboard, but at the same time, after every game, my only question to my nephew is did you have FUN and he's having the time of his life!  These boys go on to play middle school and then high school ball and the entire town comes out to watch them.  My family and friends have season tickets to the high school games.  We've had the same seats for as long as I can remember.  We have a block of about 20.  There were eight just from my family there last night.  My dad and my brother played on the varsity team in high school and I imagine my nephews will too.  If they don't though, that's fine, but if they do, we'll be right there where we always are cheering as loud as we can for them.  Friday night football with my family is one of the things I love about being back home! 

Kenny Chesney "The Boys of Fall" Video  This video explains more about the feeling of football than I ever could.

Tex-Mex Love

Yesterday I survived the GRE. My scores are another story, but I think I did well enough to get into my school of choice. So naturally I felt the need to kick back and reward myself a little. I went to one of my favorite places, Chuy's. It's an awesome Tex-Mex restaurant that has several locations around Texas. Much of the decor centers around Elvis, patrons' dogs, local artists, hub caps, and wooden fish. The strawberry margaritas are damn near perfection. Although I didn't have one yesterday since I had to drive an hour back home. Boo. They also make an amazing creamy jalapeno dressing/sauce/dip. Most request it with the chips and salsa, but it's also the sauce on the fish or shrimp tacos and is dressing on their salads. Usually I order the same thing, but sometimes I feel like change just for the sake of change. I always get the Deluxe Chicken Enchiladas. They have an amazing creamy tomatillo sauce. Yesterday though I felt like a change. I ordered the Chuychanga, a chicken chimichanga with the fabulous deluxe tomatillo sauce. In the photo you can see my little piece of Tex-Mex heaven. Normally there would be some sort of pico de gallo and salad garnish, but I'm not a veggie lover so I always opt out. I thoroughly enjoyed my lunch on the patio after the stress of taking the GRE. Ahhh love!

The Beginning

For those of you wondering what is in store on this fairly ordinary blog, it will be pretty varied. I've been toying with the idea of posting the debacles that are my life, my general feelings at times, restaurant reviews, book reviews, and anything else that I might want to share.

I'll start with me though. I am a 30 year old woman who still feels like a 17 year old girl at times.  In the past three years my life has taken some very dramatic turns. Most of the time I can find humor in it all. My friends and family certainly have! 

I'm wrapping up my sixth year of teaching middle school with plans of starting my master's to become a school counselor. It is impossible to be happy teaching middle school students unless you can laugh at yourself because believe me, they are laughing at you! Those kids have the ability to humble me like no other, but they also make me feel so incredibly loved. I go to work each day with a purpose.

I'm also SINGLE. That is capitalized because it seems to be a huge theme swirling around my current situation in life. I was married for a long time and then suddenly I wasn't. All those plans little girls make about a home, family, etc., yeah, I threw those right out the window. I moved back to my small home town and next door to my parents. Most of the time I wonder what the hell am I thinking, but the rest doesn't work with out LOVE. I never saw myself starting fresh at 30, but here I am. Oddly enough, I'm HAPPY with my life. Just missing a few things to be complete. I'm on that ever so popular quest to find the love of my life. I'm looking for the right man and hoping for those babies someday, but in the mean time, I am LIVING and enjoying the adventures my new life is presenting.