IIH/Pseudotumor Cerebri Promise

I've been feeling pretty down about my health lately and came across this on a Facebook support group page.


I promise to accept the fact that I have PTC, a neurological disorder which will limit my abilities in my every day life.

While I will always have PTC, some days will be good, and some days will be bad. I will be thankful for the good days and try to make the most of them. When I am having a bad day, I will try to remember that most likely it will not last.

When I am having a bad day, I will listen to my body, and get the rest that I need. I will let my family know that I am not feeling well, because they cannot read my mind.

I will not feel guilty about resting, because I will eventually begin to feel better, and in the long run, it will also benefit my family. They will not become malnourished if they eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.

I will not feel guilty or worry about the work that is not getting done while I am resting. The world will not fall apart without me, even though it looks like it already has.

I will not let anyone else make me feel guilty for taking time out for myself. They will never understand exactly what I am experiencing, the pain I feel, the exhaustion that I feel. They will never understand the fear that I feel when my symptoms creep up on me, and land me flat on my back.

I promise not to feel sorry for myself when I am feeling bad, because there are a lot of people out there who are in worse shape than I am. I will not be sorry for what I don't have, but be thankful for what I do have.

I promise to learn a lesson from my illness, which is not to take life for granted. I will try to enjoy every moment that was given to me, and be thankful for the times I can smile and laugh.

I will try to help others who also suffer from my condition. There are many confused and frightened people who need to hear comforting words from someone who has been there. There are many people who need me to take his or her hand, and be pointed in the right direction.

Lastly, I will not ask "Why me?" While PTC has weakened my physical body, it has strengthened my heart, my soul, and my spirit.

Sheila Reilly

Never Trust a Man Who Says Trust Me

"Never trust a man who says trust me."  I received these words of advice at my high school graduation party about thirteen years ago.  As a rule, I have always been very trusting except when it came to salesmen and guys hitting on me or my friends.  Once I was in a relationship with someone though, I trusted them completely.  I trusted my friends just as much.  I know I can trust my family.

Somewhere along the line though, I got burned one too many times.  Too many guys lied to me.  Too many people let me down.  I stopped trusting.  I trust a handful of people that are my family or I consider family.  The rest I listen to, then take their words and actions, and analyze them to death.  I'm always on the lookout for someone trying to use me or take advantage of me.  As you can imagine, this is not a pleasant way to exist.

Now I've reached a point where I want to be able to trust people again.  I want to trust my boyfriend.  I want to trust new friends.  I just don't know how.  How do I let go and not be so afraid of getting burned again?  That's what it all boils down to, I don't trust people because I don't want to let people hurt me anymore.  I realize though that I'll never really have a strong relationship without trust.  I need help with this one.  How do I let down my guard and learn to trust again?

Penicillin is Magic

Penicillin, oh how I love thee!  After two days of taking these magic beans, I am now able to eat again.  Thank you, Jesus!  It's kind of scary because I want to eat everything in sight!  Every kind of food I can think of sounds like heaven.  I still can't eat things like chips and salsa.  Even super mild salsa burns like there's no tomorrow, but at least I can eat somethings.  Basically, my mouth has completely new skin that is still pretty fragile.  Ice cream feels amazing though, so life is pretty good right. 

I haven't really done a thing this week.  I'm still waiting on my new laptop to come in, so I can apply for the work from home jobs.  I'm waiting on a claim with my short term disability insurance and I'm waiting on Saturday to get here so I can spend time with the boyfriend :)  In other words, I'm waiting, not so patiently, as usual.

I'm Hungry!

Remember how I mentioned last week that I was going to a music festival and I was going to live it up like a wild woman?  Yeah well, turns out that I should just quit making any sort of plans altogether because they are going to fall through!  I didn't get to go because I was running a fever of 104.2! 

Turns out I have such a bad case of strep that it has taken over my entire mouth, tongue, and even lips, not to mention my throat.  I was unaware that strep could cause blisters on a person's lips, but apparently I'm living proof.  My doctor said he was surprised I could eat or drink at all as inflamed as it is.  Of course I replied that I'm really not eating.  It freaking hurts too bad to eat!  When I put food in my mouth it feels like I'm on fire!  I've had lots of Sprite, but not much else for the last 5 days.  My stomach is now in permanent growl mode. 

My almost sister has witnessed what happens after I don't eat for just 8 hours.  We had a huge argument and didn't really speak for a couple of weeks because I had a major, stomping temper tantrum in the middle of Las Vegas from hunger.  So just imagine what I'm like after 5 days!  It is not pretty, people, not pretty at all.  I'm a nice person most of the time.  I'm polite and generally agreeable, but when I'm hungry I turn into the Wicked Witch of Central Texas. 

I have discovered though that after the wicked phase, I become simply pathetic.  I'm weepy and pouty.  I can't sleep and I don't even feel like watching TV which are 2 of my favorite hobbies!  HELP!!!  If anyone knows something I can eat that won't feel like I just gargled a gallon of jalapeno juice, please please send it to me!

Everything burns!