The B*tch is Back!

*Read this post as if Elton John is singing that song in the background.  Loud and Proud!

It's been a while since I've posted and the last few have been pretty weak.  Clearly all I've done consistently is eat. I noticed it in a picture from New Year's Eve too! eek!  Oh and drink wine, forgot about that.

Professionally, my life is going well.  I'm enjoying my new job and love the people I work with.  It's a very low stress, low drama environment.  We had a fun, fun Christmas party!  I'm not even dreading going back to work tomorrow after a holiday weekend!

Romantically my life is well, complete shit.  The boyfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together so many times in the last few months that I've lost count.  After duking it out over text messages and facebook, we both realized it's just not working.  I just can't quit though.  Basically, I told him to take some time and get his life in order and then maybe we could try again.  I told him take a year if he needed to.  I also said I couldn't make any promises though.  I'm not going to spend that year pining for him.  I'm going to go and live my life and hopefully we end up coming back together.  If not then we really aren't meant to work.

I'm glad it's a new year.  I need to start fresh.  I need a new attitude and I'm working on it.  I've been asked out a couple of times since Thanksgiving and I've said no.  I know I need to heal and grow on my own.  I need to decide what I really want in life and what I deserve.  No more accepting less than I deserve.  No more excuses for others' poor behavior.  No more excuses for my poor decisions.  Bring on 2012 because I'm back y'all! 

Instead of the resolution going out though, it's the man! Adios!

I'm Not Ready!

Here it is after midnight. No surprise there. I never fall asleep before midnight these days, but tonight I really needed to. I'm taking the GRE tomorrow. Eek!

I'm attempting to get into graduate school so I can become a school counselor. I need this, I mean desperately need this. After six years in the classroom, I'm ready for a change. I want to continue working with children. I feel it is my true calling. However, I think I can reach students more effectively in smaller groups. Classes of 30 are becoming overwhelming.

I have studied for this test, but obviously not enough. I feel so unprepared. I've been going over the study book and making flash cards. Tonight I was lying in bed going over the flash cards again. It just seems incredibly daunting. Sooo here I am, with a glass of wine, watching Muppets from Space trying to breathe slowly. This does not bode well for tomorrow. Please just let me do well enough to get into a decent school! I'm not asking for Harvard here, just not the University of Phoenix in Guam okay.

If I can make it through this test, I'll be on my way and waiting on one less thing. Isn't that the point, to change the things I can? This is something I have some control over. This is a way to move my life forward. Wish me luck and that I don't have a panic attack at the testing center!