Preparation and Sleep Deprivation

In 12 hours I have an interview for my dream job.  The position is all about history which I love and it is in the big city where my sweet guy lives.  I have done my nails and planned out my hair.  I have my outfit planned to the last detail.  I printed extra copies of my resume.  I even cleaned out my purse.  Why, I don't know.  I wrote down some questions I can ask during the interview and I also jotted down a few responses to potential questions.  The only one I'm dreading is "Why did you leave the teaching field?".  That's the one where I have to go ahead and tell them I've had health issues because my attendance record is not the greatest.  I have some other things to add to it, but I just know that's the question that will make me stutter.  My portfolio is ready.  My alarms, yes plural, are set.  I can't sleep.  I really haven't eaten much today.  Those two things will be so helpful when I'm trying to sound intelligent tomorrow. Ha!  I don't think I've ever been this nervous about an interview.  If y'all pray, please pray I get this job!  I'm going to attempt to go to sleep and hope I don't puke in the morning! 

Generation Z, I, M, or Whatever You Want to Call Them

After reading my almost sister's post, I'm a Realist, I decided to make a few statements of my own about the current generation of children.  Before anyone starts reading this and gets offended, please remember that this is my opinion and you don't have to agree.  People don't agree with me all the time!  Big freaking deal.

I was raised similarly to Cely.  My parents told me I was smart and pretty.  However, my parents did NOT think I was THE smartest, cutest, or best child ever.  They told me I could accomplish realistic goals with hard work.  I was never told I'd be famous or anything like that.  When I started sixth grade my parents attended open house.  We were in the gym listening to the P.E. coach.  When she finished talking about all the activities we'd be required to do, my mother raised her hand and said, "What if our child is not, umm, athletically inclined?"  My parents were fully aware of my strengths and weaknesses.

My boyfriend's son is often saying how awesome he is at things.  He's mentioned several times that he is "awesome at football!".  My boyfriend then reminds is son that he does pretty well, but he isn't necessarily awesome.  He tells his son that he has a lot of work to do before he can say he is awesome at football.  I like that.  He doesn't discourage his son, but he also isn't filling his head with a bunch of garbage.  He wants to keep his son grounded.

I was a teacher for the past seven years and it seems today's parents and children are often not realistic about the child's strengths and weaknesses.  I have quite a few stores about "perfect children" and the parents that told them this crap.  First of all, no one is perfect.  You aren't Jesus.  Your kid isn't Jesus.

I've had kids repeatedly tell me they weren't going to pick up trash off the floor because "that's what the janitor is for".  I informed them that the janitor's job was to vacuum, dust, empty trash cans, clean boards and desks, etc., NOT pick up the kids' mess.  I had to call a parent one day and inform her of her child's behavior and why he was getting an office referral.  The mother said, "I'm not calling you a liar, but my child wouldn't do that."  Riiight. You aren't calling me a liar, but I must be lying.  I had a mother complain to the principal one year because I was talking to my students about preparing for college.  This was a Pre-AP class where the goal IS college.  She said I was putting too much pressure on them as middle school students.  My principal said, "Ma'am, when would you like for us to start preparing them for college?"  She didn't have an answer to that.

Last year I was sitting at my desk in my classroom.  It was the last day of the 9-week grading period.  Grades were due before lunch, so I had turned mine in as it was already afternoon.  A mother walked into my classroom with her daughter.  She had checked her grades online and saw that her daughter had a C.  The mother asked if there was anything her daughter could do to bring up her grade.  I replied that I had already turned grades in and that it was the last day of the 9-weeks.  I also explained that her child had several late assignments and that she had failed an open-note test and chose not to do corrections to raise her grade.  The mother then explained that her daughter would be in big trouble if she got a C and again asked if I could change her grade.  Again, I said it was the last day of the grading period and that her daughter should have come to me before today.  I didn't bend on this one and the mother kept saying that her daughter would be in big trouble at home if she got a C.

Here's what baffles me.  This mother was trying to save the daughter from her own rule!  I'm not the one who said she wasn't allowed to get Cs!  She imposed a rule on her child and then didn't want to follow through and be the bad guy.  She didn't say anything to her child about why she hadn't turned in assignments on time or why she didn't do test corrections.

A few years ago I was teaching at a school in a nicer area of town.  Most of the students were upper-middle class.  I was teaching a gifted and talented history class.  As I'm giving what I felt was a particularly moving lesson on slavery, I see two girls passing notes.  I picked up the notes and they were griping about why they had to learn this.  One girl said she was going to be a model and the other said she was going to be a doctor and both had written that they didn't need to know about history or slavery for either profession.  Interestingly enough, one of the girls was African-American.  It took everything I had not to go off on these two.  Instead I kept them after class and talked to them.  I told the one who wanted to be a doctor that she had to have good grades in ALL classes to be a doctor, including history.  I told the one who wanted to be a model that she better have a back-up plan and get an education because modeling only lasts so long and what if she didn't make it at all.

One year I had a particularly rowdy class at the same school.  This group of kids are the ones who think they can do no wrong.  They were always talking about being pro-athletes or famous musicians or things like that.  So one day I'm up teaching and they just wouldn't listen.  I'd repeatedly told them to be quiet. One kid piped up that he didn't need to worry about this stuff because he was going to play pro-basketball.  I snapped!  This is where I went all Bad Teacher on them.  I closed my book and I looked around the room.  I said, "Guys, I'm about to kill your dreams."  I proceeded to tell them that they weren't all going to be famous, that maybe one out of the 700 in their entire school would end up famous and it probably wouldn't be them.  I told them they better have a back-up plan, so they could get a real job.  The next Michael Jordan was not sitting in this classroom.  They weren't going to be a rock star.  Then I went on to tell them they would have a hard time making it in the real world with their current attitudes.  I told them if they behaved at a job the way they behaved in a classroom, they'd be fired.  I told them if I talked to my principal the way they talked to me, they'd be fired.  Then I went around the room pointing at the particularly obnoxious ones and said, "You're fired!  You're fired!  You're fired!"  I told them why they'd be fired too.  I told these kids what all they would need money for and how they better pay attention in class, so they had good enough grades to get into college because without a degree, they wouldn't get a good enough job to be able to afford those nice things they were used to.  I went home that afternoon just knowing that I'd be getting calls from parents the next day, but I didn't care.  I felt like these kids were setting themselves up for major disappointment down the road and that maybe I had gotten through to at least one. 

So here's the point. Parents, please teach your children realism.  Please tell them that they will have to work hard for most things in their life.  Please don't set them up for major disappointment.  You can't go to college with them and save them from that mean professor.  You can't go to their first job with them and save them from that evil boss.  Teach them that not everyone will like them.  Teach them that they won't always be the best at something.  Let them stumble and fall sometimes, so they know how to get back up.

Poor House Here I Come!

Oh crap!  What have I done?!?  Did I really just send in my letter of resignation before I have another job lined up???  Yes, yes, I did.  What the hell am I thinking, you ask.  Actually, I ask this as well.  Basically I am in a position to where I can do only what's best for me OR I can do what's good for me and best for others.  I chose the latter.  At least my resignation isn't official until June 3, but come June 3, I will no longer have health insurance.  Shit.  I HAVE lost my mind!

I know that right now I am physically unable to be a good teacher and the type of teacher I want to be.  I'm looking for a part-time or work from home position so I can concentrate on my health and then hopefully start on my master's again.  I have had a phone interview and an email about two potential jobs, so I'm keeping faith I'll find something soon.  I just hope it's not minimum wage.  I am absolutely freaking out here! 

My school district is laying off over 200 teachers.  But, I have the chance to give one of those 200 people another chance by freeing up a position.  I will no longer let another group of students down.  My coworkers will have someone they can actually depend on next year.  I can't imagine having a job I love and then being told I won't have it anymore.  Oh wait... yes I do, except I'm being told that I can't teach at all.  I'm no longer capable of working with children full-time.  Anyway, my point is that I can't fix my situation right now, but maybe I can help someone else stay in the classroom. 

Here's to hoping I find a job, keep my sanity, and don't have to turn in my beautiful truck!  Think happy thoughts and pray for me!  And if you hear of a job possibility, by all means, let me know!

Sick!

Yep, that's right, I'm sick!  To anyone who reads my blog or knows me, this isn't news lol.  I wish I could say it was just mentally, but no such luck.  I seem to be a walking infection.  In the last three weeks I've had a biopsy, bacterial infection, and now a virus.  That of course is on top of my regular headaches.  So, what does this mean for me?  

Well I've started looking for a new job/career.  I'm looking for a work from home or part-time position.  It also needs to be a quiet, low stress environment.  Ha!  I know.  Where the hell are those jobs?  My pharmacist's wife suggested maybe a funeral home. (Yes, I'm quite familiar with my pharmacy staff.)  I started to roll my eyes, but then I actually considered it for a minute.  It's definitely quiet!  

I started really applying for jobs this week though.  So far, the only one I've heard back from is for a personal assistant job.  The only problem is that after I sent my resume with ALL my contact information, I received a more complete job description from the gentleman.  No, it's not what you're thinking.  He didn't want any sort of relations, but he wanted me to mail checks for him to people that he was getting wrecked cars from because he sells the cars out of the country.  He would give me account numbers etc. and I was supposed to do the rest.  He said he lived in New York and was an American citizen.  Why would he want a personal assistant in Texas and why did he feel the need to tell me he's a citizen?  At the very least I think he could be dealing in stolen cars or wanting me to launder money.  Um yeah, I said no thank you.  Let's not forget though that he has my home address and phone number.  I have a feeling this one is going to come back to bite me!  I'm still waiting to hear back from several other, hopefully more legitimate, prospects.

The other thing that concerns me about being sick is the people I love.  My friends at work and my students pretty much think I've fallen off the planet.  My parents are torn between worrying about me and telling me to suck it up and go to work.  And then, there is my fairly new relationship.  I've found this great guy.  I'm just so terrified he's going to get fed up with my health issues.  He has shown me no indication that he is annoyed at all.  He checks on me and is really great.  The worries I have aren't based on anything he's said or done, but I guess more on my past relationships.  My ex-husband literally would leave the house when I didn't feel good because he just could not stand to be around sick people.  In his mind, people who get sick are weak.  Most guys I talked to after my divorce ran for the hills when I mentioned I have a health condition.  My boyfriend is absolutely amazing though which is probably why I'm so afraid of it not working out.  I'm working with my counselor on these insecurities.  

What is all this rambling about...  Well, let's sum it up into three goals.  Find a new job, get healthy, fight my neurotic tendencies.  Those are all pretty simple right :P

First Week

The first week of school with my students went really well!  I have some sweet kids this year.  They seem so young though!  Every year I forget how much they grow and mature over nine months.  Quite a few of my students from last year dropped by my room to say hi.  That really and truly makes my day.

It was also the first week of this semester of grad school.  So far so good, it seems much slower paced than the summer course.  Thank you Jesus!  I couldn't do two classes like that one.  Now if I can just stay awake long enough when I get home to get my home work done, I'll be doing great!  

The first few weeks back with the kids takes time to get used to.  I'm exhausted!  Good news though, with all this schooling, maybe I won't think about dating and other junk so much. Ha! Yeah right :)

Back to School

School starts Monday.  Wow, my entire summer disappeared in a blur!  This week has been all pointless meetings.  Seriously why do they think we need five days of meetings to remind us how to do a job we went through four years of college for.  It's not like we forgot our entire education over the summer.  We know we are supposed to greet students at the door and smile.  Oh and crap I almost forgot I was supposed to take grades!  I'm so glad I had five days of meetings to relearn how to enter numbers into a computer!  I would be so lost without all of these printed power point handouts in every freaking color of the rainbow.  Seriously, what happened to budget cuts?!? How about using a little less paper, geniuses?  Then maybe we could order desks for our students!  I teach because I love kids.  I don't want to listen to a bunch of adults ramble on.  Thank goodness the little smart mouths will be there Monday.  I really do enjoy them.  They keep me young.  Good luck to my fellow educators and good luck to all the students going back to school!  Your teachers really do love you! :D

Giant Tortoise

It's the end of school and summer is near! Thank you Lord! I need summer for my sanity. Things just are not moving along as quickly as I'd like though. I don't have enough time at work, but everything else is going so slowly.

I'm still waiting to hear if I got into grad school. The guy I was talking on the phone to seems to have put me in the friend zone before we even met. I'm just in such a blah mood lately. I need a vacation, just a chance to disappear for a while and relax. I put entirely too much pressure on myself about finding a relationship.

The other day I was talking to a single guy friend. I asked him how his love life was and he said it was pretty slow. He asked how mine was going. I said, "You know that giant tortoise that lives to be like a century old? That slow."

The Beginning

For those of you wondering what is in store on this fairly ordinary blog, it will be pretty varied. I've been toying with the idea of posting the debacles that are my life, my general feelings at times, restaurant reviews, book reviews, and anything else that I might want to share.

I'll start with me though. I am a 30 year old woman who still feels like a 17 year old girl at times.  In the past three years my life has taken some very dramatic turns. Most of the time I can find humor in it all. My friends and family certainly have! 

I'm wrapping up my sixth year of teaching middle school with plans of starting my master's to become a school counselor. It is impossible to be happy teaching middle school students unless you can laugh at yourself because believe me, they are laughing at you! Those kids have the ability to humble me like no other, but they also make me feel so incredibly loved. I go to work each day with a purpose.

I'm also SINGLE. That is capitalized because it seems to be a huge theme swirling around my current situation in life. I was married for a long time and then suddenly I wasn't. All those plans little girls make about a home, family, etc., yeah, I threw those right out the window. I moved back to my small home town and next door to my parents. Most of the time I wonder what the hell am I thinking, but the rest doesn't work with out LOVE. I never saw myself starting fresh at 30, but here I am. Oddly enough, I'm HAPPY with my life. Just missing a few things to be complete. I'm on that ever so popular quest to find the love of my life. I'm looking for the right man and hoping for those babies someday, but in the mean time, I am LIVING and enjoying the adventures my new life is presenting.