First Week

The first week of school with my students went really well!  I have some sweet kids this year.  They seem so young though!  Every year I forget how much they grow and mature over nine months.  Quite a few of my students from last year dropped by my room to say hi.  That really and truly makes my day.

It was also the first week of this semester of grad school.  So far so good, it seems much slower paced than the summer course.  Thank you Jesus!  I couldn't do two classes like that one.  Now if I can just stay awake long enough when I get home to get my home work done, I'll be doing great!  

The first few weeks back with the kids takes time to get used to.  I'm exhausted!  Good news though, with all this schooling, maybe I won't think about dating and other junk so much. Ha! Yeah right :)

Back to School

School starts Monday.  Wow, my entire summer disappeared in a blur!  This week has been all pointless meetings.  Seriously why do they think we need five days of meetings to remind us how to do a job we went through four years of college for.  It's not like we forgot our entire education over the summer.  We know we are supposed to greet students at the door and smile.  Oh and crap I almost forgot I was supposed to take grades!  I'm so glad I had five days of meetings to relearn how to enter numbers into a computer!  I would be so lost without all of these printed power point handouts in every freaking color of the rainbow.  Seriously, what happened to budget cuts?!? How about using a little less paper, geniuses?  Then maybe we could order desks for our students!  I teach because I love kids.  I don't want to listen to a bunch of adults ramble on.  Thank goodness the little smart mouths will be there Monday.  I really do enjoy them.  They keep me young.  Good luck to my fellow educators and good luck to all the students going back to school!  Your teachers really do love you! :D

The Remaining Bachelors

There are others I went out with that didn't make the list.  Some I still talk to and are nice guys.  Others weren't memorable enough.  I have started to call myself the One Date Wonder lol!  I'm friends with a couple of the guys.  There just wasn't any chemistry.  There are several that I talk to online that I've never met.  We are friends online and we discuss our dating difficulties.  After Stan though, I'm no longer active in the online dating world.  I prefer to meet people through friends or family.  I need references lol!  At one time I was on match.com, Yahoo Personals, eHarmony, chemistry.com, Plenty of Fish, Okcupid, and two others.  I have closed all the paid accounts.  There is one profile left on a free site, that I check every couple of months out of boredom, but I'm definitely jaded.  I'm doing my best to let it happen naturally.  Letting things happen naturally is just not part of my personality, but I'm trying.

Bachelor #5

I met this guy on yahoo personals.  I'll call him Stan.  He is the most pivotal bachelor in my list.  We immediately had lots to talk about and met after a week or two of chatting and talking on the phone.  It went incredibly well.  He was great!  Stan made me feel so good about myself.  He told me I was intelligent and beautiful.  He checked on me almost daily because I was going through testing and trying to figure out what was wrong with my brain before I was officially diagnosed with IIH. 

We continued to talk and tried to see each other when we could, but he lived two hours away.  His job kept him on the road a lot.  Stan's dad went into the hospital right after we met and had major health problems.  He was in his late 70s.  A month or so after we started seeing each other his dad was diagnosed with cancer, so Stan spent every weekend at his parents' ranch trying to help his mom take care of everything.  I got to see him maybe once a month when he could find time, but we talked everyday on the internet and sometimes on the phone.  After seeing each other for several months, he started talking to me about moving to where he lived so he could see me more.  He talked about having children with me and introducing me to his parents and how I'd make a great mother.  He just never had time to see me. 

I was fresh out of an unhappy marriage and saw what I wanted to see.  I missed all the warning signs.  I hated not getting to see him, but he made me feel so good when I was with him.  Stan was also a major manipulator.  When I didn't answer his texts right away, he'd accuse me of cheating on him.  In reality, I was sitting at home missing him and was usually asleep by the time he texted.  Several times I tried to stop talking to him and he would tell me he loved me and that I was breaking his heart.  He said he couldn't lose me and deal with his dad dying of cancer and everything else.  I stayed in this relationship for over six months.  I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, and Spring Break in a relationship, but without him there.  I kept thinking he would have time for me when everything with his dad was sorted out, so I didn't complain or pressure too much.  I even skipped my nephew's birthday party because Stan really needed to see me.  They had gotten a bad report about his dad, so of course I went.  I just got tired of being in a relationship, but being alone all the time.  I missed him so much. 

I had googled him before we met and no red flags showed up.  After being with him for six months, I was so frustrated.  My friend and I were talking about the whole mess and she said, "Something isn't right."  I said, "I know, but I looked him up.  I didn't find anything.  He just doesn't have any time because of his job and his dad has cancer."  My friend being the intelligent woman that she is, decided to research him again.  She came across a woman's name with Stan's on a website, so she looked up the woman on Facebook.  Interestingly enough, the woman's page was public.  My friend was on the phone with me and said to look at the page, so we are simultaneously looking at this random woman's Facebook page.  I'll call her Kristy.  I started looking through her pictures and there was Stan holding puppies that he told me his dog just had.  The puppies I had offered to take care of while he went to his parents.  I continued frantically looking through her pictures and then I come upon them, the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen, their wedding pictures.  According to the date she labeled with the photos, Stan got married the weekend AFTER our first date! 

I was absolutely and completely destroyed.  I cried for hours.  I gained enough composure and called him.  Naturally he didn't answer the phone.  He never answered his phone, so I left him a voicemail.  I said, "I saw your wedding pictures. You and Kristy look very happy together and her dress is beautiful.  I don't know why you chose me to F*&$ with, but don't ever try to contact me again.  Stay away from me."  My message was calm and to the point.  I wanted Stan to know that I saw those pictures and I knew his wife's name.  I don't normally use the F-word either, but I wanted him to know I was serious.  He called me and messaged me all the next day.  I finally answered because I had to know why.  He said sometimes he believed it too.  I didn't know whether to keep crying or punch him in the face. He asked if I was going to tell his wife and he said he was so sorry he hurt me and that he really did love me.  I just replied, "This is how this is going to work.  I won't ever talk to you again and you don't EVER talk to me again.  Stay away from me." 

I thought about what to do for a long time.  I thought about contacting Stan's wife and telling her everything, but I just couldn't.  I realized I didn't want to be the one to ruin her otherwise happy life.  I didn't want to make anyone feel the way he made me feel.  I just couldn't do that.  I hope he never does it again, but he probably will and I'm sorry for her.  All I know is that it has been a year since I told him to stay away and he has.  I just wish the damage wasn't there.  I don't trust men anymore.  He hurt me and burned me.  It left wounds that can only be healed by a good man.  I haven't given up, but I'm much more careful.  Stan made me afraid.  He made me afraid of people from other places.  He made me afraid to date men outside of my little town.  Men in my town are safe because I know them.  I know their family and friends.  I damn sure know they aren't married!  It's very hard to hide anything in a town of 8,000 people!  I hope I meet that man who can help me heal.  In the meantime, I'm waiting (not so) patiently.

Bachelor #4

I can thank match.com for introducing me to this unusual man.  We emailed for a couple days and he suggested we meet for a drink. I knew he had a grown daughter and he said he owned a Mexican restaurant.  Everyone knows how I LOVE some Mexican food, so that was a major plus.  He was 32 and the daughter was 20.  She was his biological niece and his sister had died when the girl was 10 so he adopted her.  That was a reasonable explanation for having a grown child at the age of 32, even somewhat commendable.  We met for a drink and he was decent looking.  However, he brought friends along and they were a strange mix of people.  There was a nice black guy, a white guy dressed like a thug, and a 22 year old girl with pink hair.  They were having quite a few drinks and shots.  I was not impressed.  I was able to talk to my date a little when the rest were dancing.  The more he drank, the more he discussed his life in reality and not what he had implied previously.  He also showed me pictures of his "grandbaby" and she called him Papa.  I don't even have my own children yet!  It was way too weird for me.  Then I asked him about his restaurant and it turns out he did NOT own a Mexican restaurant.  He was a manager for a taco trailer where construction workers get lunch on the job site.  He also was proud to mention he was "on salary now."  Whoo Hoo.  This night went from bad to worse when his friends except for the pink-haired girl left him.  They lived in a town 45 minutes away and had no ride home.  Lucky me, I was sober and could drive... So I drove them home.  Then I had to drive another hour back to my town.  I got a message from him a few days later asking if I'd had a good time.  Umm, what do you think buddy???  I replied that we didn't seem to have much in common.  I don't care if this all makes me sound like an elitist.  I am not going out with a 32 year old man who constantly talks about his grandbaby and runs a taco shack!  So the search continues...

For those of you who aren't familiar, the is an example of a taco trailer.

Bachelor #3

I met the bitter old cat man on okcupid.com. His picture was fairly cute and his profile said he was a couple of inches taller than me which is one of my requirements.  I'm only 5'6", so it's not that hard to find a guy taller than me.  He was an IT guy for a large company and lived around the corner from his ex-wife so he could see his children regularly.  That was weird, but he had a good reason I guess.  He sounded really nice on the phone. We talked for a couple of weeks and decided to have dinner.  I was going through a phase where I was trying to give more guys a chance and look outside of my usual type of guy.  Although we didn't have a lot in common he was intelligent and kind.  He also seemed like a good father.  He griped about his ex-wife a lot though and talked about what a bad mother she was.  He also was a major sci-fi nerd and played computer games every night.  He had two cats as well.  I'm allergic to cats.  That can be a deal breaker.  Something about a man with cats.  It's just weird.  But the real deal breaker was dinner.  I had dressed in a cute sweater and cami, done my hair and make-up, and in general put effort into my appearance.  Dinner was at the Cheesecake Factory, one of my favorite places, so he was getting points for that.  I met him there and he was dressed in shorts, a ratty t-shirt, and old man tennis shoes.  Not to mention he didn't exactly look like his picture.  He was heavier and looked strange, kind of like an elf or dwarf or something.  He was also a few inches shorter than he had claimed on his profile.  His ears turned down like Dopey on Snow White... so not cute on a grown man.  Then came his weird eating habits.  He ate pizza, burgers, steak, and french fries. NOTHING ELSE!  No vegetables, no pasta, rice, NOTHING!  I'll admit I'm a picky eater, but come on man!  He ordered a burger, plain and dry, well done and french fries.  He got a diet coke to drink but didn't use a straw.  Every time he took a drink, he'd take ice in his mouth and then spit it back into his glass. Sick!  His manners were disgusting!  He never once said thank you to the waitress either.  He proceeded to gripe about his ex throughout dinner.  
I ordered water to drink, no appetizer, a half order of pasta, and no dessert!  I tried to pay for my own meal, but he insisted.  I made sure he didn't have to spend too much.  I just wanted the hell out!  I managed to be seated, eat, and pay out during the dinner rush at the Cheesecake Factory in less than an hour!  Tell me that's not a record.  He actually tried to kiss me in the foyer on the way out! Gross! I gave him a side hug and thanked him for dinner.  He got the hint and said, "Catch you later." Ha! I hope not!  This is pretty much what he looked like minus the ponytail and add some round boring glasses. 

Bachelor #2

Oh Mr. eHarmony… This man said he was looking for a long-term relationship. He wasn’t as attractive as Bachelor #1, but he was cute in his own way, very intelligent, seemed to be a good father to his one child, and had a good job. He also attended church almost every Sunday, so I thought our values would be similar.  After many emails over a couple of weeks, he asked me on an actual date. We met at a restaurant and had a great dinner. We talked for probably two hours. Then he suggested we go to a bookstore or something to continue the conversation. I got in his car and off we went. (Yes, I know, I shouldn’t have gotten in his car.) We went to the bookstore and had a great time. He had a really good sense of humor and had lots of interesting topics to discuss. After a couple of hours there he took me back to my car. No hug or kiss, but it seemed to be going well. We continued to talk on the phone over the next two weeks and met again. For our second date, I went to his apartment and then we went to dinner. He invited me back to his apartment to watch a movie. Of course halfway through the movie it turned into a little bit of a make-out session. He suggested sex and I kindly declined. I decided it was a good time to go home and he hugged me goodbye. Four days later I received an email saying he “didn’t think it was wise to pursue this any further”.  Silly me, I thought a nice Christian man would be understanding about not having sex on the second date.