I'm Back Y'all!

It's been six months since I started applying for jobs in the big city and  I haven't found anything.  Well, actually, no one chose me.  My current position is a whopping 4.5 hours a week!  That does not even come close to paying the bills!  I've been staying with my cousin three days a week when I worked and then coming back to my little town the rest of the time.  I've been hoping something full-time would come up so I can move to the big city, but it just hasn't happened and my family can't keep supporting me, nor do I want them to.  Last weekend I ran into a friend from high school and she told me one of the local insurance agencies was looking for an office assistant.  I happened to have my resume in my truck and so she passed it along to her friend who worked there.  When I got home I emailed my resume and cover letter to the agency manager.  He emailed me back within a couple of hours.  I had an interview on Thursday and Friday I started working.  I am now employed full-time!!!  Thank you, Jesus!  I had some reservations before the interview because taking this job means giving up my big city dreams for a while, like at least a couple of years.  I talked to my boyfriend also because I wasn't sure what this meant for us either.  He was extremely supportive and said he had no problem coming to see me more often.  For the last few months I've been in his city, so I always went to see him.  Knowing that he was supportive helped a lot.  I already knew a couple of the people in the office and the other three are great so far.  It's a small office and a very low stress group.  I think this job is exactly what I need right now.  It's in a fairly quiet environment.  The people are friendly.  It's not a stressful place at all.  I'm getting used to the idea that I'm going to be working in my hometown, the town where gossip abounds.  My dad already reminded me, no more going to the local bar! lol!  He wasn't kidding though.  I haven't worked in my hometown since high school.  It's been twelve years since I've been a full-time resident here.  It has it's perks though.  I really enjoy seeing familiar faces come in the office every day.  I can't tell you how many people have congratulated me on the job, knowing what I've been through the last few years.  The people really are supportive and I've missed that.  I'm going to have to get used to having to go out of town to have a drink, but oh well.  My aunt always says when God closes a door, he opens a window.  I think this time instead of a window it was more like a screen door!  But then, that is where I feel most comfortable.

I'm Hungry!

Remember how I mentioned last week that I was going to a music festival and I was going to live it up like a wild woman?  Yeah well, turns out that I should just quit making any sort of plans altogether because they are going to fall through!  I didn't get to go because I was running a fever of 104.2! 

Turns out I have such a bad case of strep that it has taken over my entire mouth, tongue, and even lips, not to mention my throat.  I was unaware that strep could cause blisters on a person's lips, but apparently I'm living proof.  My doctor said he was surprised I could eat or drink at all as inflamed as it is.  Of course I replied that I'm really not eating.  It freaking hurts too bad to eat!  When I put food in my mouth it feels like I'm on fire!  I've had lots of Sprite, but not much else for the last 5 days.  My stomach is now in permanent growl mode. 

My almost sister has witnessed what happens after I don't eat for just 8 hours.  We had a huge argument and didn't really speak for a couple of weeks because I had a major, stomping temper tantrum in the middle of Las Vegas from hunger.  So just imagine what I'm like after 5 days!  It is not pretty, people, not pretty at all.  I'm a nice person most of the time.  I'm polite and generally agreeable, but when I'm hungry I turn into the Wicked Witch of Central Texas. 

I have discovered though that after the wicked phase, I become simply pathetic.  I'm weepy and pouty.  I can't sleep and I don't even feel like watching TV which are 2 of my favorite hobbies!  HELP!!!  If anyone knows something I can eat that won't feel like I just gargled a gallon of jalapeno juice, please please send it to me!

Everything burns!

And We're Back

Well, my sweet guy and I finally talked yesterday.  We went to dinner and really got everything sorted out.  Because I respect his privacy,  I'm not going to explain to the world wide web what all went wrong, but basically he needed space and I was holding on tighter.  Two wrongs don't make a right, especially in this case.  We both apologized and all is right in the world.  We both have things to work on, but at least I can say we made it through our first real disagreement.  I'm pretty proud of us too because we did it without yelling, name calling, cursing, or any other major offenses.  We were able to discuss it like rational, caring adults and I didn't even cry.  Tears welled up, but they didn't fall! Yea me LOL!

I also decided that once again I was putting everything into the relationship and losing focus on everything else.  I haven't hung out with my friends nearly enough.  This week that changes.  I'm going to a Texas music festival at my old stompin' grounds.  That's right, back to the college alma matter.  What better way to reconnect with some of my friends than by living it up like I'm 21 again!  Ha, I'm so too old for it, but we're gonna party like it's 1999!  All is right in the world.  I hope you enjoy the roller coaster that is my life and please do not unbuckle your seat belts until the car has come to a complete stop.

I'm Not a Moron!

I started my first grad class and the professor is very intimidating.  He said anyone who has not taken one of his classes before will get a zero on their first paper and have to redo.  Repeatedly redoing one paper did not sound like how I want to spend my summer, so I drove 2 1/2 hours to meet this man.  Email wasn't doing it for me.  I needed to sit down and ask him questions face to face. I did that and I listened to what he had to say. Then I came home and worked on my paper for 4 days.  The first 4 days of my summer I spent on this paper! Yes, of course I took a few naps and I met friends for drinks (just once though), but for the most part, I was sitting on the couch typing like a maniac.  Don't judge!  It's my summer.  Anyway, the point is, I really did work my tail off on this paper.  I kept thinking I was doing it wrong.  Then I was worried I wasn't citing everything just right.  The night I submitted it I had a nightmare the professor turned me into the dean for plagiarism and was having me kicked out of grad school!  I was a nervous wreck waiting for his comments to see how much of it I was going to have to redo.  I got the paper back the next day and I got an A!!!  I couldn't believe it! He wrote in all caps that I was one of the few people who got credit the first time they submitted a paper to him. All I can say is thank you, Jesus! I am not a complete moron!  There are times I wonder and I KNOW there are times my parents wonder.

I'm THAT girl

A couple of days ago I was reading an advice column on The Frisky. A woman was asking how to let her friend know that she was tired of picking up the pieces every time it didn't work out with a guy. Her friend seemed to always settle for losers. The columnist suggested going out for a drink and just explaining that she's tired of seeing her friend go through this over and over and that maybe she should suggest therapy to her friend to find out why she keeps picking guys that aren't good for her. I read the comments at the end and all of them were along the lines of "I have a friend like that. It's hard to tell them you can't deal with the crying anymore."

I emailed the column to one of my best friends who is always there for me when I have dating drama.  Immediately after reading it she replied, "When do you want to go have that drink?". She saw exactly the same thing I did. I'm the friend who keeps settling for losers and calls crying when it doesn't work out. I'm THAT girl.

I'd like to say I turned into her after my divorce, but that's just not the truth. I was that girl from the very beginning. I've been on this great search for love since I was probably six years old. In school, I always "liked" somebody, but rarely went out with them. I had one serious relationship that lasted from my junior year of high school to my sophomore year of college. We broke up and I was devastated. Within months I met my future ex-husband. We were married for almost eight years. Now I find myself back in the land of the single. Maybe I just don't know how to date. I was in serious relationships during the ages most people are out living their single years. But then, how does one learn to date? Suggestions welcome!