San Antonio

This piece is done by artist, Glenda Saucedo.

Last week was awesome! My sweet guy and I took his son and my nephew to San Antonio for a football camp.  The boys hit it off so well!  The day before camp started, we went to the Riverwalk and the Alamo.  My nephew hadn't been to the Alamo before so it was fun for me to get to tell him about the history of the Texas Revolution.  We had lunch at the Hardrock Cafe for my boyfriend's son's birthday.  Both boys are 11 and are so funny together.  Although I will say I wasn't thrilled with the gratuitous gas they were emitting.  Our hotel room took on a funky odor when they came back from camp the first day.  The second day of camp I walked around El Mercado and enjoyed lunch at the historic Mi Tierra restaurant.  Then I met my sweet guy and his two girls to watch the end of camp.  The boys had a blast and learned a lot at camp!  I needed to get away and spend some time with him and the kiddos and it was perfect.  We ate at a cool place called Willie's Icehouse known for burgers and various fried food.  My crawfish was amazing.  Even having dinner at Cici's Pizza was fun. LOL!  I've been to San Antonio many times and I recommend it to anyone wanting to enjoy some great culture and a fun time.

What Happened to Fidelity?

I was talking to a friend the other day and I learned something disheartening.  A couple we both know aren't as strong as they seem.  He has had an affair and encouraged his friend to do the same.  They are active in church and she is always posting how much she loves her husband and what a great marriage they have.  She has no idea who he really is.  What's even worse is the girl he had an affair with was married to another friend of mine and she left him without saying why.  He doesn't know who she really is either.  These people have children.  This particular circle of affairs just keeps going and doesn't seem to have an end in sight.  What is wrong with my generation?  Why is it so difficult for us to be faithful?  Is infidelity more likely to occur in a small town like mine or is it just that everyone is connected, so everyone knows?  This conversation makes me want to run screaming into the night from my little town.  Just last week I posted about strong relationships and the ones I've grown up watching.  Is it just my generation?  Are we simply that selfish?  Considering that I have strong hopes of getting married and having a family someday, this knowledge is extremely unsettling.  Maybe we just aren't working hard enough.  Maybe my generation isn't putting in the elbow grease required to make things last.  I really wish I knew the answers to this one.  There are plenty of other species that mate for life.  Here are some animals we could learn a thing or two from.

Gibbons     French Angelfish     Condors     Swans     Black Vultures      Wolves     Bald Eagles     Beavers     Coyotes     Albatrosses     Turtle Doves     Prairie Voles

Elbow Grease

I grew up with several very strong couples.  I've watched them throughout my life.  I've seen them struggle and I've seem them succeed.  These couples taught me an invaluable lesson.  Relationships are hard work.  Anyone who expects a relationship to be easy is going to be sorely disappointed.  One person can't carry a relationship either.  Both people have to work hard and make a conscious effort to stay together.

I've dated different types of guys over the years.  Some didn't want to work at the relationship even though they wanted it to work out very badly.  Some didn't want to work at the relationship because I wasn't all that important.  I was simply convenient.  I wasn't the one.  Some just thought relationships are easy and love is enough.

Through my own struggles I've realized that I work harder to make relationships work than anything else in my life.  I put the relationship before my job, my friends, even my family at times.  I've also realized that I work very hard at relationships with people I know aren't good for me.  I will kill myself trying to bend and twist to the needs of someone that doesn't feel the same for me.  Any chance at love and I become a contortionist trying to fit myself into someone's life.  The problem is that often he never intended to make me a real part of his life.  I was hoping for something that just wasn't there.

Hopefully this time I've gotten it right. I love my boyfriend and he and I are going to work together on this!

Caety's Kryptonite

*My sweet guy and I worked everything out. I wrote this when we were having some issues. The part about the silent treatment still holds true though and I love this song! :)

My weakness, my Achilles heal, my Kryptonite is very simple.  The easiest way to hurt me to my core is the silent treatment.  I'm sorry for what you think I meant.  I'm sorry for asking too much of you.  I'm sorry for needing you too much.  I had six amazing months with you.  Please don't take it all away.  We make a great us.  We are too good together.  Please don't make it end.  I love you.  I just want you to talk to me.  Please.  Please.  I'm broken.  I can't sleep.  I can't eat.  I can't focus on anything.  I need you.  You make me better.  You make me strive to be the person I want to be.

Things I've Learned While Unemployed

1. I am a lazy slob.  Even when I have the time I put cleaning my house at the absolute bottom of my list.
2. They made new Looney Tunes episodes around 2002.  If I’m still awake at 5:00 AM, I like to watch them on Cartoon Network.
3. I cannot stick to a sleep schedule when I don’t have a routine.
4. I’m better at feeding cows than I thought, but man my back hurts!  Lugging around 50lbs feed sacks when I haven’t exercised in forever sucks!
5. Apparently Medicare will pay for disposable catheters.  Thank you Hallmark Channel for those lovely advertisements. TMI.
6. Hallmark Channel sensors even more than regular networks require.  Reruns of Frasier are bleeped out regularly.
7. Actors who haven’t quite hit the bottom rung and gone on to star in a Lifetime Movie of the Week, take a slower dive to nothingness by starring in Hallmark movies about losing the family farm.  I’m talking to you, Jennie Garth and Shannon Daugherty. 
8. Mob Wives is some scary stuff!  I only watched one episode, but totally believe they have no problem whacking someone.
9. I can live on chips, cheese dip, and Sunny D for an extended period of time.
10. I don’t require much money when I don’t go anywhere or do anything or eat real food.
11. I will do a lot of different chores for strangers who will pay me, but I draw the line at working with/for certain family members, no matter how much they’re willing to pay.  It’s just not worth the hard feelings and bickering.
12. Even though I’m sitting at home alone, bored out of my mind, the rest of the world keeps on going.  No one is waiting with me, although they are hoping and praying for me.
13. Not finding a job after an extended period of time makes one feel like a major LOSER.
14. I HATE that Samsung commercial for the cell phone where it shows a picture of a spider and the woman screams her damn head off.  I will never buy a Samsung phone simply because that commercial pisses me off so much.
15. Buying Solitaire for my Blackberry was one of the best investments I ever made.
16. No one is getting rich from Google Ads on their blog.  In almost 2 months I've made $0.15.

Good News Bad News

Bad news first.  I didn't get the job I wanted.  Apparently there were a couple of internal candidates in the interview pool that were "practically already doing the job" to quote the interviewer.  One of them got the position.  At least I got beat out for a good reason.

Good news.  He said he really enjoyed meeting with me and talking to me and that there are a couple of other positions opening up in August.  He said to keep checking the website for those and that they'd love to find a way to get me in there.

That makes me feel a little better.  The jobs coming up aren't as good as the one I wanted, but it would be a good way to get my foot in the door.  I'm also waiting to hear if I get to interview for another position that would be right up my alley as well.  While I'm waiting, I hope y'all are praying for me :)

Hurry Up and Wait

So I had my interview on Tuesday.  It was going really well right up until the end.  I felt comfortable talking to them.  I had good informative answers to their questions.  I smiled and made eye contact with both people.  I asked good questions.  Then it was almost time to go.  They hadn't asked why I wasn't teaching anymore or why I left my job.  I knew that if they called my principal and asked about my attendance record it wouldn't be pretty.  I had been advised by my dad and Cely to go ahead and tell them I had some health issues.  It came to the end of the interview and I told them I had one more thing I wanted to mention.  I said part of the reason I wasn't teaching anymore is because I'd had some health problems and if they asked my principal about my attendance record, it is what it is due to my health.  That's where the interview came to a screeching halt. Cue car crash noises.  The two interviewers kind of looked at me for a minute.  Then the man said they wouldn't call my principal, that staff services would and only to verify employment.  They wouldn't ask any other questions of previous employers.  I said, "Oh, ok, well, I just wanted to be upfront and honest.  I hope this doesn't have any bearing on whether or not I get the position."  Yeah right.  That's like telling a jury to disregard everything they just heard.  It's out there and you can't erase people's memories, no matter how badly I want to.

I haven't heard anything yet.  They interviewed 12 people and hadn't decided if they were going to have a 2nd round of interviews.  I should know if I got the job, need to interview again, or didn't get the job by tomorrow or early next week.  I felt so good about it until the end and I walked out totally deflated.  I hope they liked me enough to overlook my health issues statement.  At least I didn't blurt out that it's a brain disease!  I'm just waiting to hear.  Yep, waiting as usual...